Yes! I am Overwhelmed and Undone

“Yes!  I am Overwhelmed and Undone!”

Isaiah 6:5 - "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."  (KJV)

 

John 15:1-5 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.  Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.  Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.  Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.  I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing."  (KJV) 

            God has been speaking some things that are literally overwhelming me to the point where I feel simultaneously the most lost and found that I have ever felt in my short term of existence on Earth.  “Yes, Lord I am UNDONE!”  I am literally at the END of myself, which is just where HE wants me to be.  
            Yesterday morning before I got up out of the bed the Holy Spirit asked me a BAFFLING QUESTION.  He said, "Do you want to live for ME, or for the saving of souls?"  This just STUNNED me.  I didn't know how to answer, because I knew He was teaching me something as He often does through questioning me, stirring me to dig DEEP beneath the surface of shallow appearances to REALITY.  Immediately, Jesus, our Supreme example came to mind.  I almost made the mistake of making a LIE of a reply, but God stopped me before I even had the chance...  HE said “NO, Jesus lived for the FATHER, WHO LED HIM TO THE SAVING OF SOULS!”  It was LATER in the day that the Holy Spirit BROKE me and WEPT through me, LAMENTING over my ONE desire for HIM.  He revealed to me the CHANGE He has made in me.  My greatest longing is NO LONGER for SOULS or for MINISTRY, which has been my CRY FOR YEARS, BUT IT IS NOW FOR HIM.  YES, I JUST WANT HIM.  I could NOT do this.  I could NOT bring about this CHANGE!  GOD HAD TO BRING ME TO THIS PLACE, and He is saying that this is the place He wants all of us to be... to LONG FOR HIM, AND ONLY HIM, AS HIS LOYAL AND FAITHFUL BRIDE. 
            God is saying that our DESTINY, and our PURPOSE goes BEYOND MINISTRY.  FIRST, we are called to INTIMACY.  FIRST, we are called to WORSHIP with our entire beings, longing and thirsting after God, THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FULFILL US.  FIRST, we are called to INTERCESSION (A Continual Entering Into HIM Session).  God wants our desire FOR HIM to be GREATER than even our desire to be used of BY Him in ministry, or the saving of lost souls!  He also told me, "Not all will be saved, nor will all be lost."  In other words, this is NOT HIS MAIN CONCERN.  He told me that in THIS TIME He is more concerned for His BRIDE!  He is GROOMING HIS BRIDE.  HE IS CONCERNED FOR THE MATURITY LEVEL AND LACK THEREOF IN THE BODY OF CHRIST!  God is revealing that all else is SECONDARY, because if the BODY would GROW, MATURE AND FUNCTION AS HIS BODY, THE HARVEST OF SOULS WOULD NATURALLY FOLLOW.
            This morning God said “The DOOR will soon be SHUT, and either, you are IN or OUT.  There is NO IN BETWEEN.”  HE is the DOOR.  Time is running out!  God is saying, we must give HIM our ALL, OR brace ourselves for a terrible FALL.  HE is SEEKING, GROOMING, and DRAWING HIS BRIDE.  He's NOT going to beg, and He is letting me know that He does NOT want me to beg others, either.  This is NOT what I would have EVER expected God to speak, but this is as real as it gets!  I KNOW that this is HIM speaking, because I HAVE BEEN BROKEN BY HIS WORD.  He is saying that it is time to enter completely IN, allowing HIM to carry us over the threshold, where He will consummate His marriage covenant with us through INTIMACY (HE in us, and we in HIM).  It's either we are IN Christ or OUT the DOOR.  HE said to me this morning that it is not even about the choice between heaven or hell.  Our destination is EITHER IN CHRIST, OR OUT THE DOOR!  Heaven and hell are just the results of the FIRST CHOICE!  In fact, HE recently told me that HE does not want people to “get saved” or come to HIM just to escape hell!  It’s either we WANT GOD or we DON’T!  Anything else is SPIRITUAL PROSTITUTION!  We must seek to live in GOD, and HE in us!  For the ONLY ARK OF SAFETY available is our place of ABIDING in HIM, and HIS place of ABIDING in us!   
            I am BROKEN by the Word of the LORD today.  All I could do was weep, repent and cry out with a deep longing and thirst for HIM, as I have NEVER experienced before.  All I know to say is “Yes, LORD.  Be it unto Me as thou hast spoken.  I am trusting You LORD in the things I cannot see, the things I yet fail to understand.  You are so awesome, who can understand You?  Your wisdom and knowledge are past finding out!”  All I know to do is cry and shout, “Yes Lord!  I need ONLY YOU.  I WANT ONLY YOU.  I cannot live.  I cannot breathe without YOU.” 

© Christine Lombard, All rights reserved, use only with permission